A Free Guide to Mental Health in Pregnancy and Postpartum

Becoming a mother is one of the most significant transitions in a woman’s life. Not only is there the physical growth and birth of the baby, but there is a parallel emotional journey towards motherhood.

The way a woman experiences her pregnancy is individual to her. We all come to pregnancy with our own important personal histories. You may have been through many cycles of fertility treatment; you may not want children; you may have conceived in a blended cultural family; you may have experienced a previous pregnancy loss; you may have conceived straight away and are ecstatic; you may be recently bereaved; you may have experienced birth trauma; you may have become pregnant at the same time as your best friend… this is by no means a complete list, but highlights how each and every woman will be experiencing and living her pregnancy differently.

Most women experience changes in their mood and relationships during pregnancy. This is to be expected as it is a huge life-changing time. For most, these feelings come and go, and may feel momentarily overwhelming, but you are able to continue living your life as you would like. For some, however, these feelings and emotions can be all-consuming, and they hinder every-day life. A pre-existing mental health diagnosis can sometimes be an indication of maternal mental health challenges in pregnancy or with a new baby, although not always.

Please know, that the behaviours and thoughts I list below are not to be used to diagnose, these are for personal reference only. The list is not exhaustive, and there may be symptoms and behaviours not mentioned. If you are concerned about yourself or a loved one, please speak to a professional.

Ante/Postnatal Anxiety – anxiety can heighten during pregnancy. This can feel like restlessness; running thoughts; heart thumping; sweaty palms; panic; breathlessness; hypervigilance; insomnia; exhaustion.

Ante/Postnatal Depression – can feel like a heavy dampening of everything; a lack of joy and excitement; some describe feeling empty and no variation in mood; struggling to sleep, sheer exhaustion; no motivation.

Ante/Postnatal Obsessive and compulsive behaviours and thought patterns (OCD). Thoughts that can feel overwhelming, intrusive and terrifying. Obsessively counting kicks/movement. Fear of baby dying. Compulsively cleaning, disinfecting, bathing.

Postnatal maternal OCD can sometimes present as relentless thoughts around the terror of harming your baby. Although you know you will never act upon these thoughts, they can be so chilling and abhorrent, and flood your mind. Please know these thoughts are common, and your baby is safe.

Birth Trauma – is when you were or perceived that you or your baby were under threat of death or serious injury. Re-experiencing the trauma through flashbacks, intrusive thoughts and nightmares; being hypervigilant, especially around the baby; feel guilt around the birth, or feelings of depression.

Postpartum Psychosis – is a rare, but treatable medical emergency. It can present in many different ways but is often accompanied by hallucinations, delusions and mania. It can appear suddenly and can change from moment to moment. If you suspect yourself or a loved one of experience postpartum psychosis, please read the APP website and call a healthcare professional immediately.

Although I have listed some of the occasions when mental health is strained, please know that for many women, the experience of becoming a mother is positive and fulfilling.

However, if you are struggling, there are some things you can do to help alleviate this.

• Speak to your midwife or GP.

• Speak to your friends.

• Join ante/postnatal classes.

• Gentle exercise (especially outdoors).

• Try and carve out some alone time, or social time – whichever is most comforting to you.

• Care for your body.

• Journal or note your thoughts down in a way that feels right to you. Sometimes telling someone else feels too much, and by writing you are telling yourself, and this can be surprisingly effective.

An incredibly uplifting and hopeful thought to hold on to is that with help and support, most perinatal mental health challenges are temporary.

 Some really useful websites:

• Mental Health Support Through Pregnancy and after Birth  

• Making Birth Better

• Birth Trauma Association

• Maternal OCD

• Postnatal Depression Awareness & Support   

• Mothers for Mothers

• Counselling Directory

• Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society  

• Fertility Network UK

You can find a FREE shareable PDF of this and many other resources HERE.

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Elisha Nunhofer is a person-centred psychotherapist who specialises in maternal mental health. She has extensive experience of working with clients who are exploring the possibility of having children; going through fertility treatment; have experienced all forms of pregnancy loss and termination; ante and postnatal depression and anxiety; adoption and surrogacy.

She sees clients via video call or in-person in East Sussex. For more information, please visit her website.

A Free Guide to Having a Doula

To doula or not to doula…that is the question!

Ever heard of a doula? Wondered what one is, what they do and how they can help? Is it all witchcraft and incense? Hopefully, I can dispel a few myths here!

What is a doula?
A doula supports women and those that birth through pregnancy, birth and the postnatal period. How do we do that…. well, to start with we are non-judgemental and incredibly open in our approach. We appreciate that everyone makes decisions that are right for them at any given moment and our aim is to make sure that you feel fully informed and supported to make the choices that suit you.

We can help by signposting good evidenced-based research (no opinions, judgement or advice here, we want you to explore what feels right for YOU) and by exploring the emotional and practical needs a doula can bring, it means we will respond to the individual needs of each pregnant person…with the idea that you feel confident and empowered, and that any gaps in knowledge, care, understanding or communication is bridged.

You can read more about the role of the doula here and this is a great source of evidence-based information.

Are we just for the mother to be/birthing person?
No! As doulas we often support the partner, whoever that may be, so they too are informed and relaxed. By offering continuity of care, we build relationships with whoever needs that support so that when the day of birth arrives, everyone is as positive and included as they can be.

Are we clinical and can we give medical advice?
In short, no. We are not medics but fully appreciate there are roles we all play when supporting birthing women/people… although we have different roles, doulas keep the needs of those they support, at the forefront of their minds always. We want that oxytocin flowing so work hard to make your birth space as calm as possible!

Are there statistics to show the benefits of having a doula?
Yes! There is evidence to show that having a doula can:

• Reduce risk of caesarean birth.

• Reduce risk of instrumental birth.

• Reduce need for painkillers or epidural during birth.

• Reduce risk of induction of labour.

• Shorten labour.

• Increase parental satisfaction with the birth experience.

• Increase the likelihood of initiating breastfeeding.

• Increase the likelihood of successfully establishing breastfeeding and breastfeeding at six weeks.

• Lower incidence of depressive symptomology.

• Improve equity and provide culturally responsive care

(Brigstocke S. MIDIRS Midwifery Digest, vol 24, no 2, 2014, pp157-160)

The best doula for you?
Chat to a few! See who you connect with... when the rapport flows and you know you could chat about anything with ease…you’re on the right track!

You can download a FREE PDF of this piece and many other useful resources HERE.

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Sam is a married mum of two, has a cat, dog & bearded dragon & has lived in Essex all her life.

After training in 2008 with Nurturing Birth she dipped her toe further into the birth world (also attending the training & facilitating for Mindful Doulas) and went on to explore mental wellbeing, Birth Trauma (3 step rewind technique), infant massage, hypnobirthing and many other workshops and study days that caught her eye! Finding community, supporting those who need it and embracing who you are is at the heart of Sam’s drive and is why you’ll find her as ‘the unapologetic doula’ on social media!

She’s been a doula mentor for seven years and at the end of 2019 was overjoyed to be asked to join the Nurturing Birth team where she has branched out to facilitate the new doula courses 😊

Contact Sam via email – samshepp4@yahoo.com or call 07793970367 for a free chat on how a doula can benefit you, or check out the links on this guide for her FB page, more info and reviews/testimonials.

A Free Guide to Postnatal Healing

When Nissa asked me to write an article about postnatal healing, I jumped at the chance. It’s a subject I am truly passionate about and this stems from the knowledge that huge changes can be brought about physically, emotionally and spiritually by focusing on postnatal healing. This is something that I see happen on a daily basis in my clinic.

In this short article, I will introduce some key areas to think about:

Physical healing:

Rest - This is the essential first step for physical healing. It’s very easy to underestimate the need to rest and nourish yourself. But I have seen enough women who have suffered from a vaginal prolapse a few weeks after delivery to know this has got to be a priority.  

Scar tissue - If you’ve had a c-section, episiotomy or vaginal tearing, then doing scar tissue release work is super important. Many women are scared to touch their scar tissue but in fact, scar tissue responds beautifully to touch and research suggests that it has a hugely beneficial effect on the healing process. There are some simple techniques you can do yourself (you can find videos on my website for these with links below) and you can also see a women’s health specialist trained in scar tissue work to help with this.

Emotional healing:

Almost universally, we women tend to blame and judge ourselves - this can take many forms, such as ‘My birth went the way it did because I didn’t do enough,’ or ‘I’m not a real woman/mother because I didn’t do this...’ Honestly, it is rare to find a woman who is not blaming herself in some way. So, for emotional healing, the number one decision is to forgive ourselves. Think of the judgement you are making about yourself in relation to your pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding. Would you judge your friend for that?  Now forgive yourself for judging yourself in that way. It’s powerful to say this out loud and notice how you feel after saying this.

Spiritual healing:

Once we have done this emotional healing and are no longer blaming ourselves for the way things are, we are free to let the healing energy flow through us. I use a concept called the Birthing Field in my work - a loving energetic field which flows through us as mothers to our children. This is an incredibly powerful tool (which can be used even years after your delivery) to shift from numbness/disconnect/trauma within your body into a feeling a loving connection with your birth experience and your body. 

If you have experienced any sort of birth trauma then know that this can be healed and we can reconnect with our bodies in a beautiful way.  In my experience, it often doesn’t take much to do so, and you do not need to live with these effects. To find out more about postnatal healing check out the free resources on my website.

You can find a FREE shareable PDF of this piece here.

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Rebecca is an experienced osteopath who works with you at the level which is appropriate – for some this will mean pure physical support, for others mental, emotional or spiritual support.   

She uses osteopathy in its fullest sense using structural, visceral and cranial approaches. Rebecca works with everyone (men, women and babies) but is particularly interested in supporting those with women’s health issues. She treats many women who have not been able to find help elsewhere and welcomes complex cases. 

Rebecca also works energetically helping to shift trauma patterns, frequently using this work to help women recover from difficult births and help with chronic pain patterns.  She offers this support face to face and virtually. For more information visit her website.

A Free Guide to Breastfeeding, the Early Days

Being informed supports you to confidently make decisions and choices. So just like you have with pregnancy and birth finding out as much as you can about breastfeeding before your baby arrives will give you confidence and get you off to a great start.

Breastfeeding may be natural but that doesn’t mean that it is easy. You are learning a new skill and this takes time. Try and be gentle with yourself and remember that what works for one mother and baby may not work for you and that’s ok. We are all different.

Skin to skin, cuddles and keeping your baby close to you will help you both become more intune with each other, supporting you to become more confident in recognising their feeding cues & meeting their needs.

Early

If you can, try and support your baby to feed within the first 1-2 hours after birth. Placing your baby on your chest immediately following their birth supports their inborn feeding reflexes. Did you know that if left alone and uninterrupted most babies can find their way to the breast and attach. (This is called the breast crawl, you can find videos of this online – it is amazing).

Responsive

Feeding responsively recognises that feeds are not just for nutrition, but also for love, comfort and reassurance between a baby and their parent. You can not overfeed a breastfed baby.

Frequent

For the first 24 hours, your baby may not be that interested in feeding. Try and keep your baby close to you, this way you can recognise early feeding cues & as soon as they are showing these cues you can offer the breast. From the second day onwards your baby will become more active and alert, this is a time where they will want to feed more frequently and may not want to be away from you.

This is normal and really important for establishing your milk supply. It is very common for new babies to feed 10-14 in 24 hours (the minimum number of feeds is at least 8 times in 24 hours).

Effective

How you hold your baby and attach them to the breast will be different for everyone. It may take time for you to find a position that you feel comfortable with. Being familiar with some basics which work no matter how you hold your baby to feed will support pain-free feeding, ensure your baby is getting the milk they need to grow and that your body is getting the messages it needs to increase and support your supply.

• Hold your baby CLOSE. Aiming for no gaps between you and y our baby.

• Make sure that their HEAD is free to move backwards. As they open their mouth wide their head will tilt back. So no fingers on the back of their head.

• Keep their body in a straight line. IN-LINE. Their ears over their shoulders and their shoulders over their hips.

• Start with your baby’s NOSE opposite your NIPPLE. Their chin should be touching the breast as this triggers their reflexes to find the breast and latch.

• Make sure that the position that you are in is SUSTAINABLE. Your comfort is really important – remember you will be in this position many times a day for extended periods. So think about supporting your back, softening your shoulders, putting your feet up and leaning back. This leaning back will also take the pressure off your perineum and you can take advantage of gravity to hold your baby against you.

• Remember to BRING your baby to your breast rather than your breast to your baby.

How will I know if my baby is hungry?

Recognising when your new baby asks to be fed will soon become second nature to you. Ideally, you are looking & responding to early cues. Some examples of these early cues are

• Restlessness

• Moving their head from side to side

• Making small movements

• Moving their head towards the breast when being held.

If your baby is crying then take some time to settle them before feeding.

How will you know if my baby is getting enough?

Your breast and nipples will not be sore, you will see signs of nutritive sucking & audible swallowing. Also, keep an eye on the number of wet and dirty nappies they are having and if the colour of their poo is changing. This is an important visual that will let you know if your baby is getting enough.

Be confident & trust your body. Your body that nurtured and nourished your baby throughout pregnancy will continue to do so once they are with you. This positive mindset can be so helpful in the early days.

You can download a FREE shareable PDF of this piece HERE and watch me giving some top breastfeeding tips here.

Some of my favourite books

• You’ve Got It In You: A Positive Guide to Breastfeeding by Emma Pickett

• The Positive Breastfeeding Book by Amy Brown

• The Baby Feeding Book by Vanessa Christie

Other places to go to for information and support

Breastfeeding Support

Unicef Baby Friendly

Kelly Mom

Global Health Media Project

Association of Breastfeeding Mothers

The Breastfeeding Network

La Leche League

BASIS

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Imogen is a Senior Neonatal Care Nurse with 18 years of experience supporting families, an IBCLC Breastfeeding Consultant and a Mum of two. She is passionate about breastfeeding, but more importantly, passionate about mothers being supported to make informed choices.

​She believes that breastfeeding can be made easier with great preparation and support and offers a range of services for mothers and couples, both before and after the birth of their babies.

Imogen supports families face to face in London and virtually all around the world, you can find out more on her website and follow her on Instagram for regular information and inspiration.

A Free Guide to Tongue Ties

The big question is what is a tongue tie?

A tongue-tie can be diagnosed if the membrane under the tongue, also known as a frenulum, is restrictive enough to cause reduced tongue movement and feeding problems. We all have a frenulum under our tongues when it does not permit the tongue to move freely, we can call it a tongue tie.

Some tongue-ties are relatively easy to spot, the frenulum is attached very close to the tip of the tongue and gum line. When a baby cries there is little lift of the tongue and often the tongue appears heart-shaped.

However, many tongue ties cannot be diagnosed by just looking in a baby’s mouth. If the frenulum is posterior, this means it is further back in the mouth, or submucosal, one cannot tell just by looking into the mouth. A full assessment needs to be made, as it is easy to miss a posterior tongue tie.

When assessing a tongue tie it is important to consider the impact that it has on feeding, the baby and Mum. Both posterior and anterior tongue ties can cause significant problems and affect both breast- and bottle-fed babies.

If in doubt always get a skilled practitioner to assess, rather than just accepting that there is or is not a tongue tie present.

Symptoms can include, but are not limited to the following:

• Difficulty latching

• Painful feeding

• Mis-shapen or blanched (pale/ white) nipples at the end of the feed

• Clicking

• Fussy unsettled behaviour

• Low milk supply

• Slipping down the nipple

• Coming on and off the breast

• Difficulty controlling the flow of milk

• Leaking lots of milk as the baby is unable to form a good seal

• around the breast or bottle

• Excessively long feeds OR very short frequent feeds

• Excessive weight loss by day 5 or poor/slow weight gain

• Clicking

Tongue-tie division, also known as frenotomy, can help to improve feeding and reduce pain for Mums. However, it is also extremely important to get good feeding support as early as possible if you are experiencing problems. You can watch good breastfeeding attachment here.

Myth: “It’s normal for you to feel pain until your nipples toughen up.”

Fact: This is an indication that something isn’t quite right. Get some skilled help as soon as possible ideally from an IBCLC lactation consultant, a practitioner who has undertaken additional extensive training to support breastfeeding.

Some NHS areas have fantastic infant feeding support so you may only need someone to divide the tongue tie and your midwife or health visitor can refer you to the NHS service or you can use a private practitioner if there is a delay.

There are many tongue tie dividers who are also lactation consultants who are more cost-effective if you go privately. You can find a register of tongue-tie practitioners here.

You can download a FREE shareable PDF of this and many other resources here.

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Regina is an independent midwife, IBCLC lactation consultant and tongue tie divider.

She visits her clients in their home rather than a clinic and offers services to families living in north, east, west, and central London and the London borders of Essex and Hertfordshire.

Regina provides one-off services for tongue-tie divisions AND additional breastfeeding support on a longer-term basis. You can find more information on her website here.

What do I Need for a Newborn Baby and a New Mum?

My key message is you really need less than you think and don’t buy everything in advance as you will get bits that you never use!  This is based on having two babies myself AND working as a midwife seeing hundreds of new parents. Of course, everyone’s list will look a little different, but you can buy a lot second hand or borrow from friends/family as so much is only used for a few months or less.

Try eBay, local parents Facebook groups and there are many great specific Facebook selling groups in the UK for slings, specific buggy brand (type into Facebook ‘buy and sell *brand*’), cloth nappies and good quality baby clothes brands like Polarn O Pyret. We also LOVE Octopus Club for pre-loved baby clothes and toys.

For a Baby 0-6 weeks

Nappies

·       Lots of small/ newborn size nappies, see my other piece here on washable nappies.

·       Something to clean your baby’s bottom and just water is kindest on newborn skin. I like clothe wipes and the clean/dirty kit with great smelling essential oils from Cheeky Wipes is excellent but if you already have 2x Tupperware boxes that will work just as well. Washable wipes work a lot better than disposable ones which push the poo around your baby’s bottom! Surprisingly one washable wipe does the work of many disposable ones.

Baby Clothes

• 8x super-soft cotton baby vests (short sleeve in summer and long sleeve in winter) and 8x sleepsuits (which cover arms and legs) in small/ newborn size. Only buy clothes for 0-3 months, as you go along you’ll find you prefer some styles, types and brands, and what you need will depend on the season. Buy expensive brands second hand as they often have only been used for a few months or even weeks.

• 1x warmer newborn outdoor ‘pram suit’ but you might not use this much, so getting a second hand one is a good idea, we only used ours three times before it was too small.

• A hat.

• A natural fibre blanket, a friend gave us an old wool one which my baby loved.

• Muslin squares are handy for milky spills and as a makeshift changing surface wherever you are and some babies bring up a lot of milk!

Feeding

You might need some breastfeeding kit but buy what you need as you go, this may include;

• Breast pads if you leak, washable ones are good.

• Nipple shields if the baby has trouble latching or your nipples get sore.

• Nipple balm/ cream although breast milk will do just as good a job.

If you plan to mix feed or formula feed from newborn then you will needs;

• Formula

• Bottles

• A steriliser

 There is a lot to choose from but don’t overthink it, all formula in the UK meets nutritional guidelines and the biggest difference is in the branding and I would recommend using glass bottles.

Sleeping

Where do you want your baby to sleep for the first three months?

•  A basket or in the bed with you?

Some babies settle well in a basket and some don’t so many peoples won’t use their basket very much or even at all, this is a good thing to borrow or get second hand. Most newborn babies find a cot too big and scary until they get older.

• Sleep bags x2 in newborn size are a good option and some come with a swaddle function. Grobag is a dependable brand and they come in togs, 1 tog for summer up to 2.5-3.5 tog for winter. These are often available second hand on local Facebook groups for a few pounds.

Getting Around with Your Baby

• A car seat to take your baby home if you birth in hospital, you can borrow from a friend if you don’t have a car of your own.

• Baby carrier/ sling for newborn, a stretchy wrap or Moby are nice and cosy when the baby is small but might not feel as comfortable when they get a bit bigger and wriggly so second hand is a good option. I used a borrowed Moby until my son was 5kg and then switched to an Ergo 360 which is still going strong and he is now 10kg! You can find my good guide to slings here and a baby carrying for winter video here.

Other bits

•  Baby bath, we loved this one but only used it until our son until he was 6 months old when he started using the normal bath so a second-hand one is a good idea to save on plastic.

• A bouncing chair, the Ergo baby bouncer with googly eyes attached is popular but expensive, you can pick up a second hand one for around £30 and my baby preferred the very old Fisher-Price bouncing chair our neighbour gave us which you bounced with your foot!

For New Mums the Month after Giving Birth

•  If you plan to breastfeed invest in two good quality non-underwired soft nursing bras before you give birth. You are likely to leak at first while your supply regulates so one might be in the wash most of the time. If you have big boobs like me (a D or more) Bravissimo is excellent and will fit you in the shop or over the phone.

• A breastfeeding pillow, you will spend a lot of time feeding your new baby so be comfortable! I used my BBHugMe pregnancy pillow to feed until my son was 6 months.

• A large water bottle and metal straw, boy do you get thirsty if you breastfeed!

• A pair of soft stretchy sweatpants or your pregnancy leggings.

• Big cotton underwear (2 sizes bigger than your pre-pregnancy size is normally comfy) or disposable ones (incontinence pants are excellent) as you bleed heavily for a few days after birth.

• Soft maternity pads or washable pads as you often bleed for 2-6 weeks after birth and its good to change these every few hours to avoid infection if you have had some stitches.

• Lavender essential oil to aid sleep/daytime naps, pop a few drops on your pillow or on a tissue to smell.

• A relaxation/ meditation track to support calm and naps. You can get one of mine here if you make a donation to the charity Warchild.

• Lots of snacks and food, soups, broths and stews are excellent warming foods which are easy on the digestion after birth.

• Help with cooking, cleaning and looking after the baby so you can rest/ nap in the daytime!

Items you don’t need initially but may be useful when your baby is 2-3 months;

• Baby monitor, many babies cluster feed in the evenings so it’s better to have them with you until you go to bed during the first six weeks. My son started going ‘to bed’ when he was three months old and started to sleep 2-3 hours in our bedroom and then wake for a feed. Before three months we kept him with us and he slept and fed a lot while we ate and watched TV.

• A cot for when your baby is bigger, my son started to sleep in his when he was six months old but co-slept with me before that. We bought a cot that magically transforms into a bed and should last him until he is around 10 years old.

• A buggy, I still mostly use the sling and my son is 9 months old, but you may need a buggy for shopping etc. A good quality second-hand buggy in good condition is a wise buy!

• Playmat/ quilted blanket, your baby will likely stop using this once they start crawling!

• A breast pump, there are many options including manual, electric and hands-free but you may not need one at all. I wouldn’t recommend buying a second-hand pump as you don’t know how much it has been used, how good the battery life is or suction is.

• A dummy, not recommended for the first six weeks as it pacifies your baby and you will miss some of their feeding cues.

Items you don’t need at all;

• That funny little kit with the nail scissors, thermometer etc. I already had a digital thermometer but still haven’t used it yet for my baby!

• Baby cream, nappy rash cream, shampoo, soap or other products. Your baby’s skin is its biggest organ and I wouldn’t recommend putting anything on at first it that you wouldn’t put inside them. Breast milk is great for clearing up dry skin, minor rashes and irritated bottoms and many ‘baby products’ like Johnsons contain harsh drying ingredients. A little later you might choose a natural organic oil like sunflower, almond or coconut for their skin.

• Changing bag, you can use any normal bag!

• Changing bin, just pop your nappies straight into your normal bin.

You can download a FREE shareable PDF of this and many other resources here.

A Free Guide to Cloth Nappies

You’ve decided to give cloth nappies a go but you’re not sure where to start. Here are our cloth nappy FAQs which will demystify cloth nappies and help you on your cloth nappy journey.

What are the different types of cloth nappy?

For a cloth nappy to work, you basically need two parts – an absorbent part and a waterproof part. The difference between the four main cloth nappy types or systems is how these parts are combined.

All in ones – the absorbent inner and waterproof outer are sewn together to form a one-piece nappy.

All in twos – the absorbent inner and waterproof outer are two separate parts that can be fastened together, usually by snapping the insert into the waterproof wrap or cover.

Pockets - the waterproof outer is sewn to a stay-dry lining to form a pocket which the absorbency is inserted into.

Two parters - consists of an absorbent flat (terry, muslin or prefold) or fitted nappy that fits around the baby with a separate waterproof wrap/cover over the top.

What about liners/stay dry linings?

Some nappies have a stay dry lining sewn in, for example, pocket nappies or you can add a separate reusable or disposable liner into others. Liners are optional but can help keep a baby dry as they act as a barrier between their skin and the absorbent fabric and can help with poo disposal once a baby is eating solid food.

Can I use them from birth?

Absolutely! Got loads of muslins gifted to you? Perfect! These paired with a waterproof wrap over the top make fabulous nappies for a newborn. Our video here covers other newborn cloth nappy options.

Some parents prefer to wait until their baby is a little bigger so birth to potty sized nappies fit. Despite the name, birth to potty nappies fit best from around 4.5 kg so you may get leaks and find them bulky before then.

What about leaks?

It’s all about getting the fit right. The elastic at the back of the nappy should be low, sitting just over the top of the bottom, leg elastics fitted snugly into the knicker line/leg creases with the front of the nappy sitting under the belly button.

No need for the nappy to be fastened too tightly, ensure you can fit two fingers down the front of the nappy but no gaps around the legs. Take a look at our fit video here for more fit tips.

How should I wash and dry them?

Most nappy manufacturers and retailers will specify how the nappies they make or sell should be washed and dried. It’s worth checking out their recommendations if you’re buying new nappies. The washing routine we recommend is a short, warm wash cycle followed by a warm or hot cotton wash cycle with a full dose of detergent based on the box recommendations for hard water, heavy soiling and your drum size. Air drying either outside on the line or on an indoor airer is optimal.

How many do I need?

The number of nappies you need depends on your baby’s age, how many you use on an average day and how quickly you can get nappies dry. We suggest 18-24 nappies for full-time use on a baby from 4 months+ washing every other day. It doesn’t have to

be all or nothing though. Using one cloth nappy a day saves 365 nappies a year from landfill or the incinerator.

Which cloth nappy is best?

Each nappy type has advantages and disadvantages. What suits your baby, your circumstances and your pocket will differ from that of another family. You don’t have to spend a huge amount of money trying all the nappies out there unless you want to! Nappy library trial kits can be hired for a small fee to give you the opportunity to try out a range of cloth nappies on your baby before buying your own. Buying preloved or second-hand nappies is another way of figuring out what nappies work for you and your baby at a low

cost. If you’re lucky enough to live in Waltham Forest or surrounding boroughs, you may be eligible for a Real Nappies for London Voucher. This gives you £54.15 to spend on cloth nappies at participating retailers.

You can download a FREE shareable PDF of this and many other resources here and watch Clair talking about the different types of nappies available here.

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Clair founded Waltham Forest Cloth Nappy Library in 2013 after using cloth nappies on her son and wondering what to do with all her nappies once he potty trained! She now supports parents and parents-to-be from all over East and North London via monthly Zoom workshops, a free Facebook group and YouTube channel and loan trial kits. She can be contacted for free advice and support via the contact details below.

Email: wfnappies@gmail.com

Facebook

YouTube

Instagram

A Free Guide to Baby Wearing and Slings

Why babywearing?

Carrying your baby in a sling is a natural act, and for many parents, babywearing is a way of life. Babies thrive when being held close to their parents, it helps them feel calm, secure, and content. The closeness helps forge a strong bond between a baby and their parents.

Slings promote responsive parenting, they enable parents to be close to their baby, pick up on their cues easily and answer their babies’ needs swiftly, whether it is feeding, sleeping, over-stimulation or any other needs.

Babies can be carried in slings in a comfortable, safe and secure manner from birth until toddlerhood and beyond and the benefits of babywearing are countless. Think ‘hands-free’ naps on the go and stress-free transport amongst many others.

Which sling is the ‘best’ sling?

There are lots of different types of slings; style, brands, material and options. The world of slings combined with a large amount of choice can be overwhelming and confusing when trying to find a sling.

There isn’t a ‘best’ sling and the best sling certainly isn’t the most expensive, the one all the other parents and your friends have, or the one everybody recommends or wants to give you.

The ‘best’ sling is simply the sling that works best for you, your baby and your family. It could be a stretchy wrap, a woven wrap, a ring sling, a meh dai, a podaeghi, an onbuhimo, a pouch, a half-buckle carrier or a buckle carrier. It could even an old tablecloth you turned into a sling to carry your baby!

The best sling is the one that is comfortable, supportive, that enables you to do everything you need it for and is safe, check out T.I.C.K.S. for safe babywearing.

Always try before you buy!

So, how do I choose a sling? Always try slings on before you buy one and try a few! Say no to offers of people buying a sling until you’ve made a choice as they all offer different types of comfort, support and carrying longevity.

Go to your local sling library/consultant, we love our job and love helping parents find ‘THE’ sling.

You can find your local consultant here.

When to get a sling?

There is no harm in trying on some slings while pregnant to get an idea of what’s out there, how slings feel and what you might like.

Once your baby arrives, you can go back to see your sling library to try the slings on with your baby, hire them out and see what works best for you.

And it’s never too late to start babywearing, so give it a go, you won’t regret it!

You can download a FREE shareable PDF of this and many other resources here and watch Mel demonstrating some of the more popular slings here.

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Mel is a mum of 2 boys based in Bethnal Green and runs Wrap a Hug Sling Library East London. She is a certified and experienced babywearing consultant with a real passion for supporting parents on their babywearing and parenthood journey. You will always find a warm welcome when booking a consultation with her.

She o-organises the Tower Hamlets Family Meet-up which is a parent support group where new parents come to meet and get free support from local perinatal experts.

Mel runs various sling library information sessions around east London and offers private consultations, face-to-face or online.

She will help you find the best sling for your family and has over 200 slings for you to try on and hire. Mel can also help you feed your little one in the slings, show you how to carry 2 babies and works with parents regardless of their physical ability.

She makes babywearing socks to keep your little ones’ toes nice and toasty in the cold weather!

Contact Mel for all your babywearing needs at mel.wrapahug@gmail.com or via text on 07916349685.

www.wrapahug.com

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A Free Guide to Newborn Sleep

Helping your baby become a confident sleeper, is a gift that will last them a lifetime. But, with all the contradictory information out there, it can be difficult to know where to start.

Strong sleep foundations

By simply responding to our babies when they need us, we help them feel safe and secure, the two most important conditions for sleep.

For now, focus on getting to know your baby and enjoy those sweet cuddles!

If you want to help your baby build strong sleep foundations here’s what you can do

• Help your baby sleep before they are overtired. Look out for early sleep cues, such as staring or glazed eyes

• Create a predictable sleep routine that you enjoy

• Encourage regular naps. Day time sleep encourages night time sleep!

• Once a day, pop your baby in the cot and stay next to her, show her you are calm. This will help her build positive associations with the cot

• Help your baby sleep indoors and out

• Become familiar with baby’s sleep needs from evidence-based sources such as Basis

Myth-busting

As if parenting isn’t hard enough and we don’t constantly doubt ourselves, the world is ready with old fashioned, disproven advice. Here are some gems…

• You’re giving your baby bad habits

This is normally dished out to parents who rock, feed, shush their baby to sleep.

Fact:

In the uterus, your baby was constantly being rocked, feeding and hearing whooshing sounds. You are helping your baby have a gradual transition from womb

to world

• You are spoiling your baby

The suggestion here is that your newborn baby knows how to manipulate you to get what he wants. I despair…

Fact:

Babies cannot be spoilt. Their brain is too immature for calculated, spoilt behaviour. Being spoilt would mean your baby understands how their behaviour affects your actions, and pretend cries. Your baby will stop crying when picked up because she has evolved to be close to you where, back in the good old cave

days, she was far more likely to survive. You cannot undo what humans have evolved to do, not matter what Aunty Janet says…

• You must teach your baby to self soothe. Parents are often told that babies learn to sleep by self-soothing. However, this is based on outdated, harsh, sleep training methods.

Fact:

The evidence is clear for babies, the area of the brain responsible for self-soothing is not fully developed.

Therefore, allowing babies to cry unattended, in the hope they self-soothe is pointless.

In fact, it can be damaging as they fall asleep feeling unsafe and unheard, which will increase their cortisol levels.

So, when someone asks how your baby is sleeping, simply smile and say

“She sleeps like a baby”

Self-care

Have you heard friends saying ‘my baby comes first’? I worry when I hear parents, in particular mums, say this. I would suggest ‘My baby and I come first’ as Mum and baby function as one. Always putting your baby first can leave you depleted and anxious. And guess who will still need you when you’re overwhelmed from lack of sleep and putting yourself at the bottom of the list? Yep, your baby.

Your baby will interpret their world through you (no pressure, right?). If you are feeling anxious your baby might become grouchy, which in turn, will make you more anxious. Without realising you might enter a downward spiral. You and your baby have evolved to function as one. Take care of yourself as you do your baby.

If you are feeling low, consider accessing NHS Talking Therapies and please visit the Lullaby Trust for evidence-based information on safe sleep.

You can download a FREE shareable PDF of this and many other resources here and listen to Marta offering her top tips for sleep HERE.

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Marta Gardner is a leading Sleep Consultant and mum of three. For over ten years Marta has relished being able to help hundreds of parents just like you, to support their children to become independent sleepers, without tears. The no tears methods Marta uses are age-appropriate, tailored to your child, evidence-based and compatible with responsive parenting.

With Marta’s support, you will become confident identifying when your baby needs to sleep. This will result in a predictable routine that you are both happy with and your baby will be able to sleep soundly in their cot.

https://www.martagardnersleepconsultant.com

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A Free Guide to Pelvic Floor Health

Many women first become aware and start to think about their pelvic floor muscles when they become pregnant. The pelvic floor muscles are an amazingly supportive muscle sling, that forms the base of your pelvis. They help to support your pelvic organs (bladder, rectum and uterus) and a growing baby whilst pregnant.

Ways to find them- 

1.      Blow. Sit upright and supported. Inhale through your nose and exhale through pursed lips (as if you are blowing through a thin straw. As you exhale, you may feel these pelvic floor foundations switching on.

2.      Feel. You can place a clean finger or 2 inside your vagina. As you exhale, try to tighten around your back passage and the finger. Inhale to relax. Did you feel the muscles tighten around your finger?

3.      See. Place you hand lightly over your perineum (the area between the vagina and your anal opening) or look at this area with a mirror. As you exhale, gather, and lift your back passage and vaginal opening. Does the perineum lift gently from your fingers? 

If you are still struggling to locate/activate them- you can try a Neen Pelvic Floor Educator, available online. This is a cheap and effective visual feedback device.

Ok, you found them, what do you do with them?

Practice gathering them up as you exhale and relaxing them as you inhale (breath down into your pelvic floor). This will help to keep your pelvic floor co-ordinated. You can do some extra reps of this to build up some strength.  

PF relaxation is also essential for normal function and learning how to relax and release your PF muscles can be especially useful prior to vaginal birth. It will also be valuable for postnatal pelvic floor recovery after a vaginal or C section birth. 

My tips on how to relax your pelvic floor :  

●       Deep belly breathing.  

●       Self- perineal massage/stretching.

●       Yoga positions like child pose stretch, a deep relaxed squat, hip stretches, and happy baby are great for this.

Day-to day signs that the pelvic floor isn’t functioning properly are: 

●     Pain in pelvis/perineum 

●     Persistent painful sex 

●     Leaking urine or faeces

●     Not fully voiding bladder 

●     A frequent heavy feeling in your vagina

●     A feeling of a bulge inside the vagina 

After the early postnatal days have passed, you can take an inventory of your vulva and vagina. This can be quite reassuring before trying sex for the first time too.

Wait for about 6-8 weeks after delivery to do the self-check, when the lochia and any swelling has settled. You can lie propped up with some pillows and use a mirror to look at your vulva, perineum and vagina. Touch the labia and perineum and labia, move them gently, do they hurt? do they pull? Try a pelvic floor contraction during your self-check. If this feels weak- then try some pelvic floor strengthening exercises. If it feels painful or tight, then spend some time breathing deeply and relaxing your pelvic floor so you see the perineum drop and let go a little. 

A mummy MOT/postnatal check with a pelvic health physio can be a great way to assess how your pelvic floor is doing after pregnancy, help you with any of the signs mentioned above and get you on the right track for recovery.

You can download a FREE shareable PDF of this and many other resources here and watch Niamh talking about pelvic floor health HERE.

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Niamh is a pelvic health physiotherapist with a special interest in pre and postnatal care.  She is skilled in helping women with conditions such as pelvic girdle pain, pelvic floor dysfunction, abdominal diastasis and urogynaecological issues like painful sex, urinary leaks and pelvic organ prolapse.  She also has a keen interest in guiding women back to exercise or whatever makes them feel good post pregnancy.

Niamh is a member of the Pelvic Obstetric and Gynaecological Physiotherapists, a Mummy MOT practitioner, a recommended practitioner on the pelvic partnership website and Mum to 3 boys.

Niamh works in Crouch End and at Fix London.

There are more pre and postnatal pelvic health articles available on her website “learn” section.

www.maternityphysio.co.uk

www.fixlondon.co.uk

info@maternityphysio.co.uk

What I’ve learnt... About My Feminine Power

I graduated as a yoga teacher just a few short weeks before I fell pregnant with my son. I was fresh from the ashram in India and full of the teachings of Shakti…the powerful female energy that resides within all of us. The experience had been transformative, a shedding of unwanted negativity and a boost to my vital life-force energy. I was clear-headed, full of direction and ready to take on a new path in London.

Then boom, I was pregnant! Of course I was elated.  If I’m really honest with myself I went to India to shift things that I felt were hindering me in falling pregnant.  I knew I had work to do.

I experienced strange happenings whilst on my training. I had dreams about the word Shakti, I had dreams of dances connected to this word, I had stirrings in a place in my lower abdomen (my fertility chakra). I didn’t understand it, nor did I know what it meant, it felt kind of weird.  But slowly it unfurled for me and its been a journey that’s taught me so much about myself ever since.

I had a really magical pregnancy with Hari, I also had the home birth I had been dreaming of. I used my yogic breath to birth calmly and without pain relief and I felt like a warrior goddess. I met incredible women on my journey and started to build my community. Then, without notice or warning… I was floored.

I was floored by the fourth trimester, we struggled with feeding issues that nearly sent me to a very dark place. I was exhausted but determined to breastfeed, I was not kind to myself at all. My instinct to nurture Hari was fierce and unyielding but the instinct to nurture myself as I had done before totally vanished.

I felt lost. I disconnected from myself and from others and at times I felt very alone. I had worked so hard at childbirth, I was so proud at myself. But I had so naively forgotten the part when the baby arrives, the struggles that can come, the lack of time for yourself.

After a period of drifting through a haze that still makes me feel emotional and a bit sad, I started to reconnect to my yoga. I practiced with my son on my lap and discovered small techniques that I as a Mama could use to enable me to piece myself back together.

I learnt that I had to work with my body and with my emotional state. I had to reconcile that I was working in a new space and time and that was ok. It was tiny steps and those steps still take place today. I had to be really kind to myself.

As I write this I am navigating my way through early pregnancy with my second child. I am feeling all of the feels! It’s a reflective time, a time where I have to almost force myself to pause and use the tools I know so well to find my power and my center. I still forget at times.

Being a warrior goddess is not just about being strong, it’s about being lost and then coming back. Not just once but most probably on many occasions. It’s about realising that self-care is a real thing, essential for survival.

I also now understand the importance of connectedness, of finding your circle and building your community.  When women come together the magic really happens….that’s the biggest learning that I want to take through this new chapter of motherhood.